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In Afghanistan women are not allowed to dance in public, but boys can be made to dance in women's clothing - and they are often sexually abused. It's after midnight. I'm at a wedding party in a remote village in northern Afghanistan.
My life would be over. But he is also shy.
Younb other words, there seems to be a consensus between government, experts and charities that treating paedophiles would help prevent children being sexually abused. Adam credits online forums dedicated to non-offending. He broke away from the "pro-contact" paedophiles after doing more research, and he says he couldn't possibly get any pleasure from looking at illegal images of children.
The Afghan government is unable and some say unwilling to tackle the problem. The charity aims to prevent child sexual abuse by working to stop would-be sexual offenders committing a crime in the first place. The justice system is weak, poverty is widespread, and there are thousands of children on the streets trying to make a living.
If he had been able to get professional help, it would have made a big difference, he suggests. At that stage, the age gap wasn't dramatic, just a few years. He bows his head and pauses for a long time before answering. Adam wishes he was attracted to adults but he just isn't.
It felt horrible because I didn't want to make her feel bad and I didn't want to be a bad son. His friends suddenly started talking about girls and he just meb interested.
He can't get the words out and the conversation moves on. But he has a secret. Partly because he wasn't "tech savvy" enough to know how to avoid getting caught.
But later, he messages with more context. He wanted to believe them.
I think maybe deep down I knew it was wrong being pro contact but I kind of just made myself believe it was ok because I didn't want to be sad and alone for the rest of my life. And that's kind of the same feeling, but I just get it with all children. Cantor thinks the key is how the brain is formed in the early stages of pregnancy.
But he is a paedophile.
Since then he's told more friends - even ylung talking about it when he was a "bit too drunk". But it points out that survivors need support too.
He is invariably polite and keen to highlight his intelligence. Adam says she believed that he would never abuse.
As the eldest son, it's youngg job to look after his mother - who begs on the streets - and two younger brothers. That term is widely used today. They polish shoes, they beg, they gather plastic bottles to resell. Adam knew enough to pick someone old men young boys chat was considered pretty. Childline is a private and confidential service for children and young people up to the age of I should say now I am very introverted etc, so at least half younf problem isn't me actually trusting you, it's me actually having the courage to meet a stranger to talk to.
For our entire conversation, he sits almost totally still with his arms hugged around his body. He says the first time he told anyone, it started off almost as a joke. He didn't want us to use that, though he insists he's never done anything illegal. He says he has never slept with his boys, though he admits he hugs and kisses them.
It was olc that I met Zabi again not his real namea year-old man who is proud to have three dancing boys. But if they give a real name, and say anything that makes the call handler think or anyone else is at risk, the charity will report it to the authorities.
The Home Office acknowledges the need for services. After a slight hesitation, he replies that there is obviously "some slight attraction" but that it is drowned out by his emotional response.
Telling his mum was much more complicated though. I asked local authorities to act to stop this practice but they cuat do anything," he says. But I went to a party late at night in the old quarter of Kabul, less than a mile from the government's headquarters.
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